Sunday, April 17, 2011

Week 12 Theme --- taking risks, humor

The stories of Zak and Zeke

(Names have been changed)

As soon as she went in the door, she could sense that something wasn’t right. None of the personnel would look her in the eyes. She was there to pick up her four year old identical twin boys, Zak and Zeke. She spotted her sons as they were playing trucks and cars with other boys. Finally, one lady, still not looking at her, pointed her finger at a plastic bag that lay beside a desk. She told the mother that the bag was hers. The mother picked it up, and looked inside it. She was shocked to see a pair of her panties in the bag. The lady proceeded to tell her that “the children were on the letter ‘P’ in preschool, and they were to bring in an item beginning with that letter. They said that they had a pair of your panties in the bag. I didn’t let them show them around. You can take them home with you.” The mother quickly gathered her sons, and her panties, and headed out the door.

As Zak and Zeke got ready for school, their mother gathered the freshly laid eggs from the chicken house. As the eggs rested in the egg crate, the boys climbed in the back seat of the car. “Who wants the eggs today,” asked Zak.

“Your teacher,” mom replied.

Upon arrival of school the three of them took the eggs to Ms. Fern, who was alone in the classroom. When she spotted the eggs she asked where the eggs came from.

Zeke replied, with an replied matter-of-factly (with an implied “DUH, like, is she stupid,” ) “The rooster humped the chicken and now we have eggs.”

The mother was floored with the remark, but finally laughed along with the teacher.

There comes a point in the lives of twins when they don’t want to be identical anymore. This happened to Zak and Zeke while in first grade. They didn’t want to be the others’ twin, or dress alike, or be mistaken for each other. The mother said looking alike physically was something that couldn’t be helped. Later that evening the boys had to take showers. They were still at the point of showering together, and the mother overheard their conversation from inside the bathroom.

“We’re not the same down there,” Zeke said as he looked and pointed at his brothers weinie, then at his. “Yours is bigger than mine.”

Zak’s reply was, “I told you what to do. Ping it, and it will get bigger.”

Zak and Zeke were picked up from school by their father who does not live with them and their mother. They spent the evening with their dad, then mom picked them up on her way home from her college class. Bedtime came and they went to sleep. Mom was awakened at five a.m. by Zak tapping on her arm. He was panicking because he had left his school planner at his dad’s the night before. He had actually hid it from his brother at dads, then forgot to “find” it to take home with it. Mom pleaded that he could do without it for today, but Zak insisted that it was needed. So mom, still in her pajamas, put the twins, still in their pj’s, in the car and drove to dad’s house, twenty miles away. When they arrived at dad’s, he had already gone to work. Mom called dad to see if there was a spare key to get in to get the planner, but there wasn’t. “Can I jimmy the lock?” she asked. He gave her permission to do this. Well, as she was jimmying the lock, the neighbor was calling the cops, and a state trooper pulled into the driveway. She was told to stop, and asked what she was doing. She explained the whole situation to the trooper. Can we call the dad, he asked. A check of her watch told her that dad was already on the train (he drives for the local railroad company) and he can’t answer the phone while driving the train. So, she ended up calling his dispatcher and explained the whole situation to him. He agreed to call the boys’ dad. It ended up that the dad had to stop the train, which means a lot of paperwork for the unscheduled stop, and he told the trooper that he knew what was going on at his home with the mother of his twin boys and he was good with it. The mother got the door open, and with an escort from the state trooper, she retrieved Zak’s school planner. She and the boys got back in the car and drove the twenty miles to home, got out of their pajamas, and started their regular daily routine, if things can be routine with identical, twin six year olds.

1 comment:

  1. The material got a wry smile from me, about the best you can hope for from a grumpy old English teacher.

    I can see that the last story only works if one damn thing leads to another, a series of toppling dominoes, and it's well-done--but it hijacks the piece, unbalances it with its greater length and intricacy.