Week 15 theme - Yourself as a Writer

I confess. I signed up for this class because I needed three credits for my recertification as an ed tech. I wasn’t interested in learning to write about vignettes, narratives, and alienation. I thought an online writing class would be a piece of cake… but I was wrong. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time going to an actual classroom…but instead I spent MANY hours in front of my computer. But now that I’m ready to submit my last writing piece, I know that I made the right choice on taking this class. I’ve enjoyed writing again for John Goldfine. I still remember taking my required English class with him when I went to EMTC in 2000 – and the warnings from other students about him – which all turned out to be bullshit.

My entire life during this semester revolved around my laptop. I soon learned that by Friday night or early Saturday morning I could log on and see what the weekly assignment was. If my first reading through brought me no answers, I would reread it several times to get the feel for what to write. I also read the works of previous writers. Their stories were of great help. My goal each week was to get everything written and submitted by Monday night, because I soon learned that I would get a response from the teacher (usually) on Tuesday. I would check the website for feedback every hour, just holding my breath for the “Yes, this is right” from him. Each week I was proud of what I had written.

Many times I had not a clue what to write about, but then an idea would come to me and the words would fly from my fingertips. My family was a big help for many of my writings (but they don’t know it). I wrote things about my mother and father, who were such a big part of my life. After mum died in November, I knew at the beginning of this class that I had to write “Alone in a quiet room…what do you see?” It told my pain of remembering how I took part in caring for each of them as they lost their battles with their diseases, just a few years apart. I can still picture in my mind where I stood in their modest home to see all the things mentioned in the piece. Another inspiration for me was my beautiful granddaughter Jordyn. As I wrote this semester, (and I even wrote about her for my I-Search in 2000 ) Jordyn was on the bad end of the deal between her and the doctors who performed her liver transplant – the first one. I will never forget what happened to her, nor will I ever stop hoping that somehow, someday, and it would have to be a miracle, she will be “better.” In my heart I know the probability of this, but…hey, I can hope, can’t I?

I’ve only shared a few writing pieces with family and friends, but maybe that will change. I’d really like to say “Hey, here’s my blog address. Go check out what I’ve written!” but I’m not ready to do that. Maybe in time I will.

Will I continue to write? I doubt it. It’s time for me to put away the “pen” and trade it in for cleaning supplies and a rake, maybe even read some of the books piled on the table. But if possible I will still frequent the sight for this course. Who knows? Maybe some of my work will be used as an example. If it does, I hope it helps a student with the meaning of the assignment, as someone else’s did for me.

As Frank Sinatra would say….”And now the end is here…

Week 14 - Using yourself differently --2nd piece

Supper’s over…kitchen’s cleaned up…a load of laundry’s done…favorite show is over. Time for getting things ready for another day tomorrow, and then bed. She slowly climbed the stairs with her arms full of the recently folded laundry and, after delivering clothes to each room, used the bathroom and then retired to her room. He was already in bed, watching tv. She almost dreaded getting into bed, knowing that it would be the same as previous nights. Lately it’s been three or four times a night. The covers come off… the covers go back on…she tries to go back to sleep. He just doesn’t understand how each time makes her so tired, and agitated. He usually sleeps right through each time. She knows when she gets up in the morning she’ll still feel tired, and it’s all because she is a she. It’s her reward (more like punishment) for being a woman - a woman who is aging.

Week 14 - Using yourself differently - 1st piece

Up and out of bed early like every morning…but today was Saturday, not a workday. Three people had to use the bathroom before seven forty-five, so like every other day she got up early to get ready to give the others time later. This was the day her grandchildren had been waiting for. The circus was in town.

“Let’s go,” she said to the four-year-old and her mom. They climbed into the car and buckled up.

Thirty minutes later there were four of them cruising down the highway. The eight-year-old grandson sat in the back eating his breakfast, while the four-year-old played with a doll she’d brought with her. She asked the kids what they wanted to see at the circus. Elephants and clowns were their answers. They’d probably be clowns there, but the elephants could be iffy. The last time she’d been to the circus was years ago, and there had been an elephant, but this year there had been no ads about elephants at the circus.

When they arrived, there certainly were clowns everywhere, and she watched with a smile as both grandkids got most of the clowns to sign their circus books. She was happy to see that there was no shyness or trepidation towards the clowns from both of them. Inside the auditorium they were immediately overwhelmed with salespeople selling cotton candy, snow cones, and souvenirs. Might as well get it done, so she bought each of them the light-up souvenir they wanted. With seats picked out, they sat and waited for the show to begin.

As each performer dazzled the crowd with their amazing acts, she spent her time watching the grandkids enjoying the show. She laughed with her grandson at the antics of the clowns, shared a look of wonder with him at how the lady could change costumes inside the curtain so fast, and watched her granddaughter clap along with the music as the dogs jumped the hurdles and the monkeys walked around in their leopard skin outfits. She was glad they were here. This is what grandmas should do with grandkids, she thought. This is why she had gotten up so early this morning.